Madame's Advice

Hey, these last few days I've been extremely busy with working on the play and hanging with friedns. Monday, I worked on th ebanner project of mine, Tuesday I hung out with my friend Madeline and went to North Conway with her. today I was suppost to work on the play, but then Tim's, my co-worker, dad is having troubles and he needed ot help him. They are going through a rough time and this is for them.

You may be going,
through rough passages and trials,
and there never seems to be an end,
But don't worry because as my french teacher said

"This to shall pass"

always think

"this to shall pass"

and your trials will end,
and surrounded by friends

"this to shall pass"

Evol

Hey, I'm back home! For the past weekend I've been at Caramon's-Jp's house, working on the play, and hanging out. I haven't hung out with my friend's Madeline and Danny in a while *hint* lol. I'm working on the next play and so far its alot of work, but I can't wait to see how it comes out.

Why am I so blind?
how can't I understand?
it will never happen,
the power of change, is it in my hand?
I was once free,
at least I thought I was,
but then it took one weekend,
to feel again this bewitching buzz,
and then my heart so weak,
gave in for the second time,
I can feel my heart pounding,
I wish it wasn't mine,
the anxiety I feel,
drowns me inside,
all I can seem to do,
is let my time bide.

Fool's Ghost

Well, yesterday was pretty boring. I need to find a place to stay for the weekend, because my parents are going away for the weekend and won't let me spend it home alone. It does bnother me because I think I am mature enough. O well.

When you know you can do it,
and its fuzzy inside,
all the stress bound inside you,
you just want to hide,
you hear the call,
the need for someone to hold you close,
but thats so far away,
like a fool's ghost,
don't give up,
you can't inside,
its not good to stop,
it's not go to hide,
the ghost will come,
believe it and it will,
your brain will relax,
you heart can beat still.

Bipolar

Well, I'm still having my problems with my theatre. I worked yesterday though and I had alot of fun.

You show me that you care,
But then you treat me like shit,
You get me so pissed off,
Then you make me feel bad,
You then get me to need you,
But then you say the wrong thing,
I can't take this rollercoaster anymore,
Does it matter anymore.

Parental Venting

I'm just having this wounderful conversation with my parents about my theatre jobs. this is how it goes. My dad thinks that because of my theatre, he can't spend time with me or go anywhere. I don't think that is an excuse because they let me spend my time alone. My father always works and if it wasn't for theatre during the summer most of my time I would be in my house bored. I do like to give my father time for himself, but that doesn't inflict on me. My father always threatenes to take away my theatre or tells me, "Don't get involved again!". It really bothers me because theatre is what i love doing. I know i kind of sound selfish, but i just want to have my parents let me do this. If I had my license I would be able to drive myself places where I have to work and I wouldn't have to inflict on their time sometimes.It's like they don't trust me working and being independent. I really needed to vent about this so I put it on my blogger. Please if you read this, respond to it and give me advice.
Richard

Used

Yesterday I did as I said I would and I hung out with my friends JP, Aly, and Caramon. It was fun. That had to be the worst sentence in the world. O well. Here is a song I wrote, without the melody though.

Washing away in the world that I live in
Wasting away my time
I can’t take the pain anymore
from this love of mine

* You won’t understand
You don’t understand
I can’t let you know
you are my right hand
I am so confused
I’m always confused
Do you actually care?
or am I just used

I’m staring into space
with my heart in my hand
The pain is so frustrating
something I can’t stand
I try not to breathe
because my lungs are heavy
you weigh them down
using envy

*
Just leave me alone
with my soul awake
to feel every moment
and every heartbreak
I’ll never find why
I can’t see
You never understand
how much you mean to me

*
*
Washing away in the world that I live in
With my heart in my hand
No one will ever understand…

Everybody's Changing

Today, I'm just hanging with friends, nothing special. I've been working these past two days and as very busy. Today I'm going to post one of my old writting that was elected to win an award in Florida. I couldn't go because of money which sucked but here it is.

It was all so sudden,
but now it’s clear to me.
The swift visible change,
that I am forced to see.
You all have many masks,
each with a different face.
But the ones that I am used to,
new ones take there place.
New people are arriving,
old people are fading,
and as I sit and watch this,
my pain keeps on flailing.
I guess I’ll have to get used to it,
just admit it is true,
because I don’t have the guts,
to say goodbye to all of you.

What Is It?

We'll working yesterday didn't really go to well. I never got a hold of my boss because someone left his phone off the hook so I made the buy signal go off, for 4 HOURS! I almost went crazy! We didn't end up working so I hung at Caramon's till like 4:00 and then I went to Maddi's house till 11:30. It was a party for all the college freinds that are leaving. Natilie, Cristian, Scott, Stacy and her friends, and Maddi and her brother Steven were all there. It was fun expecally at Shaws, lol are friends go random places. I am going to start a story soon on my blogger, but for now.....

Is love just a condition,
Something in your blood,
That flows through your veins,
that is a physical thing,
or is it something more?

Theatre

Right now I am at my friend Caramon's house, the one I just had a fight with. I'm really excited for work today. I love my jobs with theatre and other things. I would die without them.

The best job in my life
Hardly any sad moments,
Easy to relax,
Able to release creativity,
Those who question should try,
Really fun and rewarding,
Everyone can find intrest somewhere in it.

Poison's Effect

I'm back from the camp finally! There were some good and bad memories, the bad ones are kinda stupid, but the good memories keep my mind off of the stress I've been having. My friend finally is talking to me again, I don't know still what caused that, but I'm really happy about it. Well let me see, what shall I write about? Here we go....

You are finally past it,
You know you won't go back,
but then you are lured there,
with all the defences you lack,
you get traped again,
and the poison seeps in,
you don't notice it happening,
you think you're going to win,
but then it happens,
the pain you fought before,
you wan't to escape it,
the one you adore,
it burns inside,
makes you not sleep,
you get shivers inside,
it is very deep,
when it is finally over,
the poison still inside,
you go back to your home,
and you will try to hide,
but you might get drawn back,
for another poison's effect,
but maybe you will learn,
how to beat this effect....

Can't Take It!

Well, today im going to hang out with my friend JP and go to his camp till Tuesday. My friend is still not talking to me and it's really pissing me off. Madeline is still grounded i think and i haven't heard from Danny yet. Also, my friend Janise is going through a hard phase in her life. This is about her.....

Looking in the mirror,
seeing all that is her pain,
she lost her power to fight,
her emotions, hurt will stain,
She thinks no one cares,
and maybe some people don't,
but out there in this world,
not care for her they won't,
Don't forget that when you can't find a person to like you,
Don't give up....

I just got a IM of my friend telling me im a piece of shit...........................I Cant Take It Anymore!

The Passing

He sat in his room,
In the darkness of night,
Not a thing to disturb him,
No thoughts or passing light,
Thinking of his past,
Wondering of whats to come,
Knowing he made mistakes,
Not to many, but some,
All the fears he defeated,
All the things he'd lose,
All the fights he got in,
His mind would never snooze,
It just kept passing,
Throughout his mind,
Because of this fact,
Sleep he just can't find....

Last night was a long night for me. I couldn't find sleep anywhere; my mind just kept racing. Yesterday wasn't the best day in the world as my best friend is fighting with me and all my other freinds I've been hanging with are now busy or grounded. I have to work today on some banners I've been making for the community arts center, but how knows what "passing" i will go through tonight.

Here's My New Blogger

here are where my thoughts will be from now

wallowing now here not sure about how things will turn,
maybe someday people will learn,
that the true way to earn a friend,
is respect, the end.