Relief

Today's Madeline's Party! On Monday I have to go backto school and I know it is going to be a rude awakening. This whole vacation I put school in the back of my mind. I know Economicsw is going to be hell on wheels. I need another play! *sigh*

My brain needs relief.......BIG TIME

Over

Tomorrow I am going to Madeline's for her birthday party. I can't wait seeing as this week has been really boring for me and I haven't hung out with many of my friends like I usually would. Some of my friends now are relentless on some things, but I'm not going to go there except through a meter. All I know is that at the party I will be around a close group of friends and it will be one of those Kodak and awesome moments.

Were almost past the holidays,
Christmas is over,
Another thing is over...

I want to be able to go back in time,
to realize my full potential and hunt for what is mine,
my life is really good, but I still find some flaws,
I feel like a big black bear shreaded me with its claws,
I want to move on,
I have been the pawn,
I can't be,
If not real to me,
I said I would know,
I said I would go,
I've done so much good, why do I want more?
Is that why I been here before?
Am I really that selfish...
I don't think I am selfish...

Puppet Strings

I haven't typed lately because of my computer screwing up. I hope everyone who read this had a Merry Christmas

Where is everyone,
the shadow is falling,
time is repeating itself,
even when I'm fighting,
you have sold you body away,
it was supposed to go to me,
I craved it with all my heart,
I was blind to see,
behind all that kindness of a puppet,
it drained at my chest,
now the body has been polluted,
I guess my pain was the best,
the best thing fro you,
and you did it with a smile,
I know now,
I would walk this mile,
A MILE to break my trance
my trance, of the puppet strings...

"Every heart hath its own ache"

Your Best Day Of The Year

This Friday is my birthday. I'm attempting to have a party but it is not working out well. O god! Christmas is in 5 days!

Beginning
Intro
Rapid
Tireing
Hazardous
Decieving
Annoying
Your best day of the year...

The Wind In My Heart

Well tonight is our Berlin High School Band concert. I have an Economics test tomorrow along with vocabulary so I don't have to much time to study. I have no plans this weekend yet except the Christmas party so I might be bored.

Inside the wind blows,
and the sounds of pain echo,
throughout the hollow heart,
inside my body.
I can feel the pressure of your eyes,
the sky here are grey,
the tears are the rain,
I can see myself inside me,
covered in a black rain.

This One's For The Pain

I just read this poem on Quizzilla and I want everone to read it; it is awesome.

This one is for everyone
who's had a hard time in this life
who cannot seem to find their way
without using the knife.

This one's for the little girl
who didn't want to play your game
she hated that you touched her
now all she has is shame.

This one's for the boy
whose father gets so mad
all he can do is hope today
won't be quite as bad.

This one's for the girl
who's father left her for a gun
she was the one that found him
and her whole life came undone.

This one is for anyone
who's been the fat kid in the class
who has hated their reflection
when they look into the glass.

This one's for the boy
who's parents separated
their hate for each other blinds them to
the child they created.

This one's for the girl
who had her "first time" forced on her
he pulled a gun and she laid down
her innocence taken in a blur.

This one's for the boy
who still wishes for the past
for the girl that he first loved.
he thought that it would last.

This one's for the girl
who thought pills would ease her pain
with each one that she swallowed,
peace, she would obtain.

This one's for the girl
her mother's words are cruel
she says she's fat, she makes her cry
her diet is now the rule

This one's for the woman
who tries hard to conceive
but after one more miscarriage
all she can do is grieve.

This one's for the girl
who's mother gets around
at night she listens through the walls
to the awful sound

This one's for the boy
who doesn't go to class
he's sixteen and a dropout
there's no way he could pass.

This one's for the girl
who couldn't seem to eat
she went for days without food
with herself, she did compete.

This one's for the girl
who gave it all to the wrong guy
he took her body and her heart
but then he said goodbye

This one is for anyone
who's had trouble getting by
who cannot seem to pay the bills
when money's in short supply.

This one's for the boy
who faces the regret
someday he'll see he lost the girl
he never will forget.

This one is for anyone
who's ever felt alone
they cry at night when no one hears
their pain is never shown.

This one is for everyone
who's had troubles in this life
just know that there are others
who feel and share your strife.

Being Me

Tomorrow is our concert!

When you have the right aura,
It sends me down in heat,
The way you toss your hair,
the way you sit in your seat,
I crawls into me,
and makes my brain fog,
and my heart dips in poison,
on fire like a chimney log,
I can't take the constant bounceing,
I just need some space,
but then I get lonely,
All because of your face,
I now hate more than love,
I again can't see,
I know what's going on,
I'm just being me...

Creator Of Your Greatest Fears

Just finished THE BIG ECONOMICS PROJECT!!!! .....yeah! I can't wait for this weekend because Theatre North is having a Christmas Party. I love Theatre North! I've said this to many times lol. Also this Thursday is our band Christmas Concert. I'm kind of excited, but I won't go to far. Here is a monolouge from my Book Reports, fromm Steven King's It, again.

No, it can’t be, it just can’t be! This is not real; this can’t happen! How could they be able to achieve this? Me, every little kid’s worst fear; me the “eater of worlds”, how could they hurt me? This wasn’t supposed to happen, this is impossible. I thought I was immortal! Ever since I disembarked here…
When I first landed on this planet I knew it would be satisfying. The aura of nourishment emitting from its core made my hunger grow. I started to feel truly satisfied as my vigor grew. I have eaten many planets before, but I knew from once I first landed, this was the “right” planet.
I began to search around the planet’s surface. The terrain was infested with green plants, like the plants controlled the land. There were rocky cliffs and small lakes about, all going to satisfy my appetite. I saw many different creatures that had scaly skin and heights that towered over the land. I sensed that they had small brains, and weak hearts. They would be easy to seduce and devour to for fill my diet.
So one by one I devoured these creatures. They had a strong taste that wasn’t that pleasant. It seemed that my appetite grew mundane and satisfaction began to disappear. The air became heavy as I never seemed to be happy. I then became weary and I needed to hibernate. After so much food in my system, I need to sleep to process it into energy. So I searched for a place to slumber, and I found these caves; caves that seemed to go down deep into the Earth. I found the end of the caverns, and built my home there. This would be the base of my own feeding ground. I began to sleep.
I was slumbering for a long time. It seemed that I would never wake, until I finally did. When I finally awoke were I had made my home had changed. It smelled rancid and it seemed like some sort of oil exuded from the walls. I seemed to have grown into my environment, and I think other life forms have been here to. I went outside the section of the caves I inhabited, and found that the caverns have been infested with thousand of pipes and concrete structures. Another race came while I slept and built these structures, but it made travel around the land a lot easier. When I finally came to the surface again, I was shocked to find the new species.
These creatures had a greater intelligence, powerful hearts, and complicated souls. They knew how to speak, and think. They had hair, and two small eyes, along with different anatomies. They would definitely give me the nourishment I craved. I then tried to go after one of them. It didn’t even see me, like I was just air. I didn’t know what to do, so I tried to speak to it. It then noticed me, but it freaked out. It thought I looked like a giant fly. Then I started to turn into the giant fly it pictured in its mine. I then understood what happened.
These creatures still don’t have as strong of minds as me. They see me as what seems to be their greatest fears or as their nightmares. I then turn into what they see and go about my feasting. I also have to use mind games sometimes, because a lot of them still won’t believe. “Believe” that’s the key word, as long as they believe they are mine. They will never be able to see the real “me” because their puny, insignificant minds can’t process it.
I found that it was easier to attack the younger ones, because they seemed to believe more than the adults. These “kids” were the top of the line in my diet. Occasionally I would get an adult, but most of the time it was kids.
So since then I would eat, then sleep, eat, then sleep, eat then sleep. It worked out beautifully, until now. Now I have met something horrible, something that totally vibrates into me, my match. I have met this past two months, seven kids, seven kinds that alone are normal; but together they are stronger than anything I have encountered. They believe in me, but they know how I work. I encountered them all first separately, feeding off their fears and inner insecurities. When they all met each other, they became stronger, formed a bond, and they came after me.
I finally met them in an abandoned house on the corner of Neboilt Street. They found me and I started my process, turning into some teenage werewolf from one of their imaginations. I went after them, but then one of them shot me with a silver slug and it actually…hurt….me. I screamed and recoiled back to my lair in pain….pain I can’t believe it…pain!
Being the “eater of worlds” I’m not supposed to feel pain, or….no I’m not afraid of them…. I can’t, it’s not possible. I am immortal…well at least I thought I was! They together seem to have a stronger…No, I will make them pay for this, and I will get them! I can feel their presence drawing back to me, to kill me. They can’t kill me, I am immortal. I’ll make them go crazy, I’ll make their greatest fears come true. I’ll get them back…here they come…
…they are going to come and their leader…Bill; that’s his name. He is going to try to out power my mind; the “Ritual of Chüd”. He will be crumbled in my “deadlights”, my “mind” and he will fall and so won’t his pathetic friends. I will have the last laugh, I will have the last move, and I will be immortal. I am immortal. Nothing can defeat me…nothing!

Economics

Today I worked on my monologue project and then I went over to Maddi's and painted. I needed it so much it wasn't funny. I still have stres, but it is better now. I have economics now.....hence this poem

You give out bad grades,
you assignmany projects,
and when your kids fail you blame them,
them.....them...
you don't correct it time
I can't stand your teaching ways,
All you do is make life hard...
you'll get yours someday.


Sorry I hate economics...

Theatre North II

I just got back from the A Christmas Carol cast party! You know Theatre North is the greatest, they are deffinately like a second family! I love all of them very much!!

The "Eater of Planets"

Today at school was cool. I had a pretty good day, no too many difficulties. I have another project though to add to my schedule, THE BIG ECONOMICS PROJECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I need a vacation from projects....Bad. Here is one of my easier projects I had to do, I poem I wrote about the book "IT" by Steven King.

In a dreary town named Derry,
Where the sky is rarely blue,
Down in its sewers,
Pure evil seems to brew,
This evil is the "eater of planets,"
Who came to this world,
To satisfy its hunger,
Great evil it has unfurled.

To get its prey it finds a victim,
Either young or old,
Who still believes in nightmares
And dark stories still told.
It baits them with
The profile of a clown,
Then changes its mask.
It's prey then will frown.
The "eater" will change,
Into its prey's worst fright:
A werewolf, a mummy,
The boogieman in the night.
The new monster will attack,
Physically and with mind games,
Until its prey loses sanity.
And it puts out all the flames;
Flames of the prey's life,
Will slowly be muffled.
Then the next form of the "eater"
Ends its prey's last scuffle.
This final form is the true "it;"
What the "eater" truly looks like.
It will suck its prey in its "deadlights;"
Their brains hit with a mental spike.
Then the monster has won,
And it will continue to feed,
Until it decides to stop;
Sleep it will need.

The monster has been doing this,
For about 200 years,
Until now when seven children,
Bring on "It's" worst fears...

Time

School is as same as usually.......AHHHHHHHH! I can't take everyday's schedule and boredom anymore. I need to do something, but I'm tied down by school work. This weekend I'm going to see Theatre North's A Christmas Carol. I'm not working in this one because of school, another reason I'm bored. o well Time to work on an economics paper, yay!

Who is the one drifting,
Me, or you guys,
I'm sitting, starving,
I can't see through eyes
I need someone, but I used it up,
now I have no more love,
my time is up...

World of Gray

I really sorry I haven't blogged in a while. I have been really into school work, and Christmas. I have been working a lot on book reports mostly and last weekend I had to go to my grandmothers in Maine. I haven't been doing any plays or projects and it is starting to get to me now. I feel kind of bored during the day now, like I have nothing to look forward to, for the past two weeks.

I want to flow into,
that world of destiny,
not here in this gray and white,
There is only a few,
and they are all tiny,
that I don't already spite,
I can't find any ephoria,
in this boring world,
of quizzes, drama, and "demode"
in the other world the aura,
the peace and sweet darkness,
what a pleasant ode,
but that is only a myth,
now in my life,
I need some more actvity,
or maybe a break,
from drama, homework,
and levity.