Sunday, April 30, 2006

Permanent Stain

Yesterday I worked on the set and hung out with Aly and JP. Aly had me listen to a new soundtrack to a new play, Wicked. It is extremely good!

Don't be nervous,
don't expect,
Expecting is where depression will emit.

Don't look,
don't even think,
You can go down really quick.

Blood flows,
passion grows,
the doorway opens to new lows.

Passion takes hold,
to all the thoughts,
memory becomes colds and hots.

The feeling dies,
regret will cry,
bitter sweet memories moan and sigh.

The reality sets,
all that's left is pain,
and a permanent stain...

"I'm defying gravity, and no one can bring me down."~Wicked

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

I...

Today I was supposed to work on my powerpoint I have to do for my "Road Map" at my aunts, but she was sick. It became a really boring day in a instant. Tomorrow I plan to work but I hope it doesn't die.

I walk with a smile,
but I'm hiding a frown.

I'm obsessed of the bad times,
and ignore the ones that are good.

I'm doing more in my life,
but I constantly go down.

I think I understand,
and forget the understood.

I have many friends that care,
but I feel all alone.

I am a good son,
as behind I slam the door.

I get passionate over music,
but I don't respond like a stone.

I used to be feel pleasure,
but I don't feel anymore.

I used to own my emotions,
now I only rent.

I am really calm,
but then anxiety takes hold.

I look at days ahead,
and regret ones spent.

I acting like I've never have,
and already it's getting old...

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Haunt for Eternity

Loneliness for eternity,
some lost serenity,
time seems to go by slow,
but it ticks by quickly,
it doesn't hit you lightly,
it pounds you with pain heavily,
you never can resist,
the darkness tortures recently,
you try to run desperately,
the pain shows no pity,
it will make you almost faint,
oh so creatively,
loneliness of eternity,
the fears of many,
are hunt for new victims,
to haunt of eternity.

Friday, April 21, 2006

How?

Today at school was crazy. I had a test in every one of my classes. My brain was exhausted. After I worked with Tim on the set.

How can people be so thick?

Yelling at a kid over nothing and then.....hitting them?

Abusing someone that hasn't experienced his first birthday........

.....not listening....and not experiencing.........

love............

How can people be so think?
To hit and not love?


Thursday, April 20, 2006

Final Passion of Mine

Today in school was very long. Afterwards when I got home I felt better though. Tomorrow I am working on the play again.

the CD starts to revolve,
the conductor raises his hand,
the microphone is turned on,
the crowd silences for the band
the first chord is Stromberg,
the first note is played,
the accumpliment sets the tempo,
the fist melody is made,
the music flows through the air,
into other ears,
the symphony gives chills,
to everyone that hears,
music effects everyone,
in a different way,
it is the universal language,
and it helps me throughout my day,
the final movement is played,
and the melody is expressed one more time,
the finally instrument lands on a fomata,
the final passion of mine.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Hope Is Not Lost

Today, my friend Janel came over "chez moi" (over my house). It was fun. School was kind of tiring today though. Tomorrow I am working on the play after school. I can't wait! I love theatre. Here is the last one of my abuse poems I made, so if your sick of it, "tout fini" (all done).

Abuse is just an excuse.
It is a poor outlet for stress.
All it does is shift the pain
from one person to the next.

The sad part about abuse
is the control over it is less
than a big, grass stain.
The whole cause is complex.

It has to start from inside
and grow as it is ignored.
Then when it has built up to far
it will finally burst.

It will be so strong it can’t hide
and lash out to ones adored.
The effects would scar
the ones loved first.

Abuse is a double edged sword.
It just hurts all around.
No one gets any real pleasure.
It’s a spiral rushing down.

Only love can restore
what is now a dark frown.
Love can find the lost treasure,
the happiness that is bound.

It is constricted by darkness
passed on by another.
There is hope for the abused.
There is hope for the lost.

The pain that possess
and can distort a mother
can be refused.
Hope is not lost…





Monday, April 17, 2006

Questions In Haiku About Abuse

Today was a pretty boring day in the life of Richard Joseph Ouellette. Here is another poem I wrote for health class. It is a little different because all the stanzas are haikus.

Why are children hurt
because of lack of control
and for just power?

What happens in life
that causes someone to be
that mean to their young?

What could happen to
the mind to distort it so
to punch your own child?

How could suffering,
torture a child can’t resist,
give that much pleasure?
How much pain must one
endure for such a long time
until it will stop?

How could you sit there
and watch your spouse hit your child
and not flinch at all?

What would you do if
you were being abused by
the one that should love?

Why is abuse real,
probably happening now
and nothing is done…?





Sunday, April 16, 2006

Joyeux Pâques

HAPPY EASTER

Today so far has been pretty boring....but o well. Here is a poem I wrote about the book "A Child Called It" Enjoy.
He is a survivor
from a fate that is grim.
He is one of the lucky ones
when his chance at life was slim.

When he was first young
life was as normal as it can be.
His father was there for him
and his mother was filled with glee.

He would play with his brothers
and his mother would take him everywhere.
Life was a pleasure,
but then darkness came there.

His mother started to change
as his father seemed to disappear.
she started to get meaner
and emit a sense of fear.

She started to yell at him
and make his life a chore
Then the start of it all happened
she hit him more and more.

Mom would start to play games,
take away food,
and make him sleep in the basement
while she was in this constant mood.

That was not the worst.
It had only just begun.
His brother who once played with him
now they will only shun.

His father became the only one
who would ever talk to him now.
He would always say he would save him.
The boy just wondered how.

Mom then became worse
and started to feel strife.
She would in a second
end his meaningless life.

She made him eat things
that a rat wouldn’t touch.
It was all so hard.
It was all too much.

He was afraid of mother
who would strike him relentlessly.
When people asked about his bruises
he was given excuses quickly.

She would do things to him
that almost made him die.
It was to a point now
that he wouldn’t even cry.

He was not he child anymore,
and boy, or a person.
He was now know as “it”.
by everyone who once loved him.

Love is what he was deprived of;
the number one thing a child needs.
It went so far
he didn’t know what was to lead.

Now he was survived
and he warns others of his past.
If you are going through abuse
love will still last.

"Butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away and leave me there just wondering why?"

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Treasures Found Within

Today was a long day. In the morning I worked with Tim on the set. We got most of the walls done in the apparment part of the set except for the doors. I am really satisfied with it. Then I can home and relaxed. What can I say, I was tired for the Gala show.

As he looks at the stars,
he reflects of his past,
the good and the bad,
these moments have past,
he wants to visit some,
re-live them once again,
to find so more meanings,
to meet again with a friend,
Pictures are there now,
that show you the best of that time,
they feel so real,
deseption is their crime,
he looks down at the love,
he was all around,
it helps him now and then,
when he is on pain's ground,
memories only cost,
some of many things,
the beauty of the passion,
or the sorrow they bring,
memories are worth it,
through the thick and thin,
they do not need any justification.
they are treasures found within.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Something More You Want

Today, I worked on the set for Natalie Needs A Nighty and it was good. Alice, a director of Theatre North and the Gorham Players, showed up and chilled with us. Thursday I am going to the 40th Gala anniversary for the Arts. It is going to be a really good show.

You are there,
with your stinging tougne,
which doesn't know what not to say,
and what is to be sung,
are you sucking me dry,
like my other friends,
I think you just use,
until the very end,
when you are there,
I don't know what happens,
my blood becomes boiled,
by pitiful, enraging captions,
I know you are there,
more than for just kindness,
you are out for something more,
I see through your slyness...

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Finale Of The Music Man

This past week has been extremely hectic. It was the production week for The Music Man. It was really fun and except for the mishaps that happen with the set design, I learned to really get attached tot he play. Janel and me used to dance to all the songs and the whole cast join in and it was so much fun. In the backstage we would listen to RENT and it was great. The lead lady, my friend Aly, I really admire because she was throwing up between Acts and she was still awesome and she had a really soar throat but she still sang beautifully. She was so embarrassed that she was crying and I felt so bad. She is the definition of "the show must go on".

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

My Apologizes, To My Friend

My apologies to my friend,
that I have left behind,
my apologies to my friend,
who's exceptance I hope I can find,
My apologies to my friend,
who I treated like dirt,
promising her gold,
in the end, giving her hurt,
I seem to only,
let people down,
I hope I can make you smile again,
and not just see a frown,
My apologizes to my friend,
that I love from the bottom of my heart,
this isn't just a "pity" apology,
The heart is where it starts,
My apologizes to,
one of the best friends I ever had,
the one that brought me happiness,
and I just made her sad........
..........I'm sorry

Maddi, this is for you, and if you haven't yet read the new comment I left on your blog about a virgin...

...and please forgive me....and think of the "ferret".


Monday, April 03, 2006

Constant Down

These past three days have totally sucked balls. I've been extremely sick, to the point of throwing up, and without my mother I would be dead right now. The Music Man performance is Friday and Saturday at 7:00 and I'm chugging orange juice to get better for it.

I felt like a dog,
head over the toilet bowl,
other people sighing behind me,
This is taken a toll,
I just want the sickness to go,
away from my body,
Did I get this by chance,
or because I was naughty,
I need to purge myself,
of everything I love,
because of some virus,
and when push comes to shove,
I need to get better,
so I don't let anyone else down,
I can't take the pain,
of my health's constant down.