Is It ..?

Sorry about the timespan. I have been extremely busy with the two plays. I just finished the play All Because Of Agatha, and I am on the production week of Don't Rock The Boat.

Is it really worth it?
This stress and this pain,
for you to do back flips,
for a simple, little gain.

Is it really trying?
when you say you have no more time.
Yet, you complain every moment,
all at the same time.

Is it really love,
when one gives the orders
the other reduced to a puppy,
no refuting, never disorders,

What are the contenances,
that effect the fabric of sight,
in the light of the day,
or the dark of the night,

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sick

I am so sick of writing about pain,
the vice squeezing my jaded heart,
this vice makes me want to vomit,
it has done this from the very start,
people only focus on the bad,
and use it as a template through life,
it is sad, life is wasted,
all to pain and strife,
what happened to the beauty of life?
where did it go?
why is life so hard?
maybe, I will never know,
I am sick of pain,
I am sick of this feeling,
I am sick of the incompleteness,
I am done with this feeling.

Inquiry of Past Beliefs

What is the meaning of life? Lately, I have been pondering that question as it is a toy for my brain; also as my brain is a toy for that question. Is the purpose of life to follow our own dreams or accomplish the stereotypical goals of America. I use to always be able to answer that question with the first response I gave in two seconds, but now I am just not sure.
All I want for my life is to be free to express, create, and follow my dreams. Being a millionaire or celebrity just doesn't make the mark of a consummate life. Yet, without money, people can't experience traveling, supporting a family, going to restaurants, etc. I always thought money shouldn't matter in the real prospect of things, but am I just being ignorant to the reality of life? I am just not sure.
Is wanting people to care for you as much as you care for them being greedy? Is questioning why we are here on this Earth a useless inquiry? It is not just confusion; it is fear and pain of this confusion that is guiding me in this post. Like something was inflating my chest until it burst, this fear grows inside me. Why can life through some eyes be sublime and the next day lackluster?
Why do beliefs change, and why does this hurt? What are people really thinking inside their heads? Why do we sometimes feel...incomplete?

Feelings Lost in the Drama

Yesterday, all day, I worked on the set for Agatha and today I am up to my nose in homework. BLAH............what else is new.

I am sick of feeling down.
I am sick of thinking so.
I am sick of see when
people are high and low.
I am sick of working hard
and getting a slighted payoff.
I am sick of having to deal
with contempt and scoff.
I am sick of the feeling
of my feelings not heard
But most of all, I am sick of having to worry
about the drama of this world.

Gray of The World

Outside in this air,
where I wall, listening with this forbidden ear,
I am not afraid of the gray of this world,
but how my own skin blends with it, I fear.

Today was a ok day. School is getting really bland lately and I wish that something a little less gray would occur.

This Shell

As I stare into the mirror
I see a silhouette,
of someone who has gone through a transformation,
caused by someone gladly met.
This new shell,
contains more, yet the same,
of what I have known to be,
all of what makes up the mundane,
This void inside me,
eats away at my faith,
but trust is refueled by assumed love,
I have passed my eighth,
Look outside at the golden air,
and wonder why my skin is so gray,
How someone can feel like they are running from the unknown,
each and every typical day,
I don't know what to do anymore,
I am lost in my own self,
if this shell is ever going to hold something,
I have to get a hold of myself....

Plastic Paradise

Ahhhhh....yes back to blogging. My life has been extremely hectic lately with school, two plays, dance class, and all the other loving things, good or bad, in my life. Today I worked on the set for All Because Of Agatha and on Monday, my friend and I are going to Concord to a stage management workshop. I am extremely excited for this workshop that my euphoria is bubbling out of my brain. I has also been my friend's, Aly and Keith, birthday this week. Anyways, time for writing!

A plastic paradise surrounds me,
and I, behind a solid glass wall.
This wall is called insecurity,
and my sanity it has taken it all,
My heart see so much pain,
pressure and stress.
Shouldn't it have lost hope,
maybe it still loves, I guess.
I have so much I love,
and still the things I loath,
still overtakes me like a tidal wave,
My heart isn't red, it's mauve...